Monday, February 23, 2009
CM was still encouraging me to date other people. I met this guy, TP on an online dating site. For our first date, he invited me to his house. His house was in a subdivision where all the homes had hangers for airplanes and they all shared a runway. I was impressed. I was especially impressed when he told me he sometimes flew to work instead of driving the 40 or 50 miles. He worked as a test pilot for a company that made custom aircraft. He wasn't rich, but he seemed to have his life in order. He paid cash for his daughter to go to flight school to be a commercial pilot. He told me that her favorite way to fly was up-side-down. No way would I ever let someone do that with me in a plane. I had only flown maybe twice in my life. We seemed to get along pretty good. I liked him, but I knew that he wasn't long-term material for me. One interesting thing I learned about him while we were out exploring places was that he was afraid of heights. I couldn't believe it. We were walking across a dam and he was near the edge that was a couple hundred feet to the river. He asked if I would trade sides with him. He told me he was was afraid of heights. That just cracked me up. I asked, "How can you be afraid of heights?" "You are a pilot"! His comment, "Well, I'm not going to fall out of the plane."
Thursday, February 19, 2009
CM was still calling me daily. I was feeling really down about my self and he let me cry to him over the phone. He was really nice and would listen and tell me things that made me feel better. FB had disappointed me and I was through with him. I can't remember if CM asked me to come over or if I begged to see him. It was always one way or the other. But I saw him. He was there to make me feel better about the situation. I was sad and lonely. Yes of course he got some sex out of the deal. He gave me comfort, I gave him sex.
I wish I would have read either John Gray or Christian Carter before I started dating. It would have helped me so much. I did so many stupid things. I had a number of guys run as fast as they could from me. I couldn't figure out what was wrong? I thought I was attractive, not too fat, I had a good job, kids that were almost grown. I know now that my clingy ways were a major turn-off for guys. I didn't know...I was just lonely. I only wanted a long-term monogamous sex partner. Why were so many guys scared by that? I think they read me wrong. Oh well, their loss. Here is a clingy mistake I did with FB. I slept with him on Wednesday, I figured the meant of course I would see him either Friday or Saturday. But no...Saturday night rolls along and I'm calling him, asking ,"hey, why haven't I heard from you?" "Aren't we going to see each other this weekend?" He says, "way...hold on. It has only been three days." Yes...that kind of thing scares off a guy. How was I supposed to know that? The next week he was IM'ing me all these sex comments and telling me what he wanted to do with me, etc. I realized, wow the guy just wants me for sex. My self-esteem fell a little more. But what was wrong with me? Isn't that all I wanted too? I didn't really know. I was confused.
CM was still in my life calling me several times a day. He of course wanted to hear all the details of what was going on between FB and myself. I always tried not to, but he kept pressuring me and so I would tell him everything. I kinda liked CM calling me and giving me attention. I was getting divorced and I felt very alone in the world. CM made me feel better. I couldn't figure out why CM kept calling me so much, but didn't ever want to date or see me?
To this day...it still confuses me.
To this day...it still confuses me.
FB, as I wrote before was a local semi-celeb. I figured he would be an upstanding, model of a person. What I soon realized was that he was a real pervert. One night he called me for a "booty call". I really didn't understand what a "booty call" was back then. It was around 10pm on a Wednesday night. He wanted me to come to his place to see him. I of course say, sure no problem. I drive to his place. His place happened to be an office in a warehouse. The company he worked for had this warehouse and he took his office there and made it into a tiny studio apartment. The room probably was about 10 x12. He had a bed that he had made into a bunk above a futon. He had a TV and shared a public restroom. He had no shower or tub. He told me he had to shower at the Gym. He was trying to pay off some bills and save money by living there. I was surprised by it all. But he was nice and I was a hot blooded divorcee. Anyway, like I said before it was a booty call. I thought it meant he really liked me...yeah, liked parts of me...hehehe. So we got it on in his bunk and I spent the night with him. I would like to mention...his "manhood" was the smallest one I ever saw. He seemed to know what to do with it though.
I decided I am now going to refer to Crazy Man as just CM. CM phoned me the next day. He wanted to know if I did anything with FB. I tried to lie, and avoid the truth but, he got it out of me. I'm not good at lying. So I told him about the BJ, but I used a condom. He had never heard about using one of those for that, but I told him FB liked it. He of course says, "yeah, I bet he did."I guess if I was smart and realized that I would soon fall head over heels in love with CM, I wouldn't have continued to date other people. CM keep telling me that he didn't want a relationship with me or anyone. So, I believed him and kept on dating. CM lived so far away, I didn't see him a lot in the beginning, but he called me several times daily. I was flattered with the attention. I didn't realize at the time that that was excessive. Maybe it was because I too was a little crazy at that time. But I continued to keep dating with CM encouraging me to do so.
Monday, February 16, 2009
While my crazy man and I were in the kitchen, I mentioned that I had a date with someone that night. I told him that I could break it if he wanted me to. He said, oh no, you better go. He probably is really looking forward to going out with you. You should go. So I said, ok. He then adds just don't have sex with him. I of course, say oh no. This new guy,FB, I met online also, he was a local semi-celeb, so I was excited to meet him. I had seen him in pictures and on TV, but never in person. We met at a really nice restaurant. He was nice and cute. I was sorta smitten. We had a nice dinner and good conversation. After we were done eating, we both seemed to want to spend more time together so FB suggested that we go look around at this store at the other side of the parking lot, just to walk around. He wanted to buy me a shirt. Not just any shirt. A T-shirt that was way too small and lime green!. He suggested that I try it on. I come out of the fitting room, it was embarrassingly too small. FB thought it looked perfect on me and said he was buying it for me. OK if you want to. Then we went to his car. He wanted me to put the shirt on. I'm like, ok. Hey I'm game. It was dark outside so no one could see in, I put the shirt on. Next thing you know things are getting pretty hot and heavy. We didn't have sex as Bill Clinton would say, but I did pull a Monica Lewinsky. I figured that I could do what ever I wanted as long as I was safe. I wasn't exactly looking for a relationship. I just wanted some fun.
Friday, February 13, 2009
The next day after my wild run out to nowhere with crazy man, I was tired, so I called in sick to work. I decided I wanted more action from the crazy man. My libido was on fire. So I called him and asked if his boss (he was self-employed) would allow him to call in sick that day and nap with me in his bed. He of course, said sure come on over. I get there and he takes me up and puts me to bed and heads back down to do some work and I try to sleep. Later he came up and I was prepared (practice safety) to suduce him , which was pretty easy to do. It was good and he was fun. I liked that he was short. We fit together so great since I am short also. My ex was so tall and I don't think we fit very well physically. Not like crazy man and I. After that was done, he was ready for us to get dressed and wanted to talk to me in the kitchen. I don't think he was all too pleased with what happened. I'm sure a part of him was though....just not the thinking part of him. I of course was "in love" and "in lust". I think he was terrified.
My Crazy man and I were enjoying the hot tub and he asked if I wanted to go up to his room. I was a little apprehensive, but I drove so far and it was then around mid-night. I was tired. I thought, maybe I can get some sleep. I still had to go to work the next day and I was about 2 hours away from my work location. I grabbed a towel and dried off my hair and then wrapped it around my wet swim suit. I followed him up to his room. Wow, what a huge bed!. He stood on one side while I on the other. He was looking at me like, "well aren't you going to take that swim suit off". I'm looking at him, like," no, what about you"? So we both hopped into the bed with our wet swim suits on. They of course didn't stay on, but nothing more than some heavy making out happened. He was trying to be a gentleman and I was trying to not be a slut. Even if I only had sex about once a year for the last 10 years and was at my sexual peek. After a couple of hours of fooling around it was 2:00am. I decided, I need to get home. So we get dressed and he leads me into his kitchen, where he tells me with much relief, that he was glad that nothing happened between us. He had never had sex without a relationship. I was really tired and I just agreed with him and went home.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The next evening after my date with the "Crazy Man" I received a call from him. I told him thanks for the fun date and that I liked how we rode the carousel horses and ate ice cream. I also felt really bad about not giving him a good night kiss. I was feeling bad because I'm thinking, he probably thinks I totally rejected him. I told him, "I should have gave you a kiss, I'm sorry I didn't". He said he was sorry about that too. I told him I would make it up to him and give him one soon. He said, "really? Why don't you come over, I'm sitting in my hot tub with a great view of the city lights." I am an adventurous one. It was about 8:30 pm and at that time I didn't realize that would be a one hour and fifteen minute trip. Actually he lived in another state! So here I am newly single and wanting adventure. He gives me directions to meet at a store somewhat near his place. So I hurry up and get ready and leave my house at about 9:00pm and I'm going to see a stranger and go to a strangers house. I should have been smarter about doing something stupid like this, but my sense of adventure had taken control. Here I am driving to someplace I have never been. After about an hour of driving, I meet up with him at the store. It was now 10:00 pm, very dark and I'm following a stranger to a place I don't know. I should have been worried. I follow him and follow him. Seemed like at first, gee where is this guy taking me. There wasn't anything out here and of course its dark, very few lights around, lots of trees, lots of hills, is he taking me out to the booney's to kill me? I was starting to get worried, but I thought, I have my cell phone, I can always dail 911. Finally he pulls into this long paved drive way up to a big well lighted house. Wow, nice house. Up in the hills, where was I, I don't know. My since of direction was off. Yes, I could see the city lights. We go in. He asks me to take my shoes off. His house was perfectly clean. Nothing out of its place. Ok, I start to relax, I don't think he is going to try to kill me or something. By now it is about 10:30pm. I ask, where is the hot tub? I ask to use the bathroom so I can change into my bathing suit. No way was I going in it in my birthday suit! We get in the tub, relax, talk and look out at the lights. By now it is about 11:00 at night, I don't know where I am, I'm with a stranger and I am over an hour from home. Yes, I did have work the next day. Then he comes across the tub to get what I promised him, a kiss. I'm was still a little frightened about kissing a stranger, but I figure I need to just get over it. I'm single now. His kiss tasted salty. I later figured out that is was from the tub water. His future kisses never tasted like that.
Well, of course there is more to come.
Well, of course there is more to come.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Here I was newly single after several years in a relationship. I was so new into the dating game. I didn't really know how to play it. The last time I dated I was in high school. Now being at least 20 years older than then, I didn't realize that not only had the rules changed, but the players had as well. Pretty much I was "shark-bait" as my "crazy man" would say. "Crazy man" was the first man I actually went out on a date with since being single. I was only separated for 6 weeks and still legally married. Yes, I was dumb, fresh "shark- bait". My first mistake was that I met him on an online single site. I didn't even know what a "meat market" was, but I would now say that that was diffidently a "meat market". So the "crazy man" and I sent emails back and forth for a few days and then we decided to meet in person. He lived 1 hour and 15 minutes from me, so we decided to meet at a place somewhere 1/2 way. He chose a shopping mall. I dressed pretty nice and conservatively in a flowerly dress. He was dressed ok in jeans and a flannel- like vest. At first, I thought, he looks old. He has lines around his eyes. But he is ok. He is short, but he has nice hair, just needs a little trim. We walked up to a Chinese food vendor in the mall and ordered chicken and rice. We sit down with our trays across from each other and begin an awkward conversation. It wasn't until years later that I realized that I did lots of dating no-no's. The no-no that I did this time was I sat down and told him my "whole live story" in about 30 mins. I don't ever think he got any words in. I told him everything, mostly the bad and the ugly. Gee, I'm sure relationship gurus John Gray and Christian Carter would have just been cringing if they saw me doing that. But like I said before, I didn't know the rules and I was too inexperience to know better. He then bought us ice cream cones and I was amazed at the horses on the carousel, so we both took a ride while eating the cones. That was really fun. So after talking and eating, he decided we should walk a little bit around the mall. Then we sit down on a bench. We compared our birthdays, turned out that his was the day after mine. So next thing we both have our driver's licenses out to see if it was true. Of course I'm thinking wow, maybe this is a sign. Then he decided to get my picture in one of those mall picture machines. I thought it would be more fun if he joined me in the picture, but no. Then we were sitting back down and the next thing I know I was holding his hand. Did he grab mine? I think so. I looked at our hands and notice the watch he was wearing, it said Rolex I was interested because I had never seen one up close before. Of course I didn't say anything. I just thought huh, maybe he's got it together. Then he suggests that we should go. So we walked back towards the entrance. He asked for a kiss, but I wouldn't. In my head I'm thinking can I get something from a kiss? So I gave him a big hug instead. He went his way and I went my way. Later, I felt bad about the kiss thing....to be cont'd.